Femitheist Divine Satire Essay

The female suffragists didn’t die so women in their 20s would have to buy their own tequila shots, self-proclaimed “feminist” Anne Gus wrote in a Thought Catalog article.

The provocative piece, called “5 Things Women Need To Do In Their 20's (Or Else The Suffragists Died For Nothing),” was posted to the site on Saturday.

But the button-pushing essay wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. In fact, Anne Gus isn’t even a real person.

The woman, or rather, the man, behind the article is reportedly a Bodybuilding.com user named AryanofValhalla, who penned the post as a joke, according to Gawker.

AryanofValhalla told the Daily News in an email that he decided to write the post after he was reading through Thought Catalog stories to counter his boredom one night.

"As I finished skimming through what felt like the millionth article pertaining to women in their 20's and feminism on that site, and I became increasingly annoyed with the writing style and attitude of the authors of these pieces," he said. "I decided that I would try to capture the essence of everything that I thought was wrong with their worldview, and do so by becoming one of them."

The man, who is in his late teens, said he submitted the essay to Thought Catalog "hoping to highlight how absurd this particular branch of modern feminism has become, as evinced by the fact that many people couldn't tell that it was satire."

The article was published, and AryanofValhalla announced his accomplishment Saturday on a Bodybuilding.com forum. The thread has since been locked or deleted, but he has been posting about his work elsewhere on the site.

“Still don't know why my threads were closed. Gonna lay low for a while. But mark my words, the chronicles of Anne Gus have only just begun...” he wrote.

The author’s bio section reads, “I’m a feminist. I’m a woman. I’m strong. I’m in my twenties. I’m beautiful. I deserve love. Give me it.”

In the article, Anne Gus/AryanofValhalla suggests that ladies “go to some poor country in Africa and teach a few super skinny kids some English.”

“It may sound really boring, but you’ll get a golden tan and but if you get a lot of good Instagram pics you’ll look like the biggest angel and everyone at home will love you even more!” the essay continues.

Other nuggets of advice include majoring in women’s studies (“If you don’t agree you’re probably an ignorant, sexist, transphobic, slut-shaming mysogynist cis white male and possibly a rapist”) and having as many casual flings as possible.

Another Anne Gus piece, called “Sorry Dudes: Here’s 5 Reasons That Girl You Like Doesn’t Want Anything To Do With You,” went up on Monday.

Thought Catalog hasn’t said anything about how or why the first article was mistaken for an authentic submission, and the website has not returned the Daily News’ request for comment.

vtaylor@nydailynews.com

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